Worker bee

That's what I'll be in a few weeks' time. I didn't get the TV job - they liked me, blah, blah but felt that me being older than the assistant producer would be problematic, the ageist buggers! But I got the office job so I'll be an Administrative Officer for the Ministry of Justice shortly, providing my "pre-employment checks" go through okay. I assume my references will be decent enough and I'm not a serial killer but I do have a chequered health background and have had to leave a job because of my depression. But that was over two years ago and I'm a lot better now so it should be alright. I had to fill in a medical form so they might check with my doctor but I go to an open practice and rarely see the same doctor so they won't know me from Adam.

But, touch wood, they should formally offer me the job soon and I hope I can start by the beginning of March. It'll be so good to be out of the house and speaking to people again. And the money, while not great, is better than Jobseeker's Allowance and we might be able to have a life instead of watching every penny. Although I did go out and treat myself to a grande skinny vanilla latte this afternoon as a treat and have gone 9 calories over my daily allowance (after dinner thankfully, not before!). I've been really quite disciplined this week but have been getting very hungry and have suffered from headaches for the last couple of days. I think it's the shock of sticking to calories after a week of going 500 over every day. But it kick started my weight loss again so I'm glad I did it... and I got to eat like a piggy for seven days!

I hope my new workplace has a microwave so I can take in soup and the occasional ready meal. But if it doesn't, I'm only five minutes walk from M&S so can buy sandwiches if needs and finances permit. And I'll be earning nearly a couple of hundred calories a day from walking to work. Even more if I can brave the hill and walk home. I might have to if I want to have the occasional glass of wine or pudding. I really wanted to have the winter puddings (like summer puddings but with apple and plums as well as the blackberries and blackcurrants) I bought from Waitrose this evening but have run out of calories so will have to have them tomorrow as a little Valentines treat. I have to walk into town to sign on (hopefully for the last time depending on when I start) so I should be calorie-rich. Unless Jim gets some sparkling wine or something.

It's 13 years since we got engaged tomorrow so 14th February does mean something and isn't just commercialism to me. And yes, I was practically a child fiancee! When I phoned my mum to tell her we'd got engaged, she asked me if I was pregnant!!!! I think that tells you everything you need to know about my mother. I do miss being 18; I was thin then. University was the start of the slippery slope to fatness - too many portions of chips, giant sandwiches and pints of cider and huge portions of pasta with cheese and bacon as a regular meal. Or my favourite lunch of two toasted bagels filed with red pesto, salami and melted Cheddar cheese. Mmm, could just eat that now. I've just come back from Sainsbury's where I managed to resist the oatmeal and raisin cookies and wensleydale that were calling my name. Instead I bought some Berocca vitamins and two sugar-free jellies. How times have changed.