A Question of Scale(s)

Hello. Sorry for the long absence but I've not been in the mood for blogging recently for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I tried to reduce one of my medications and it all backfired and left me weeping every day which isn't exactly conducive to cheery communication. Secondly, I've been lied to. By my scales. I tried using my nice Tanita body fat scales that I was too heavy for when I started and they said I was over a stone heavier than my Weight Watchers ones. Surely some mistake? So I weighed myself at Boots and they agreed with the Tanita. So I weighed myself at the doctor and they said the same. I haven't lost five stone at all. I'm a fraud and a failure. I had only lost just over four stone.

So I went on a food and drink bender and have only just clawed my back back on the wagon. Pizza, ice cream, cookies, burgers, chips, beer, wine - all were fair game and I stuffed them down my throat in misery and disbelief that i could have kidded myself that I'd lost that much weight. So I've put some weight on and am now behind my schedule of losing 2lb a week. I feel thoroughly miserable but have decided that I can't let myself get back to the fat me of seven months ago. And I've stlll lost almost four stone and know that if I keep going, the rest will come off too. In time. If I'm really committed, I might even be able to catch up the 4.8lb I'm behind and get back to my schedule of losing the weight by next summer.

So I'm back. I'm sorry to anyone who has checked my blog in vain over the last three weeks and thankful that there are people out there who care. I've had my 0% Greek yoghurt, muesli and compote (Yeo Valley strawberry and rhubarb - fab!) and three pints of water and have no immediate plans to hijack the Sainsbury's cookie stand. I have a 284 calorie ready meal for lunch which I will supplement with a sugar-free jelly and an apple and then plenty of calories left for dinner, which I will decide on when I hit Waitrose this evening. I might even go for a walk and earn even more calories (I walked into town and back yesterday and earned 400 calories so I could have yet more yoghurt, muesli and compote for my supper last night)

I'm determined not to let my weight beat me into submission and am trying to keep positive and recognise that I've already lost a reasonable amount of weight. I'm not going to be the fat sister in Jo's wedding photos next August. Even if I don't make it to a size 16, I should at least get down to an 18 and be able to buy nice clothes. Not that you can't get some good stuff in my size. My parents bought me a new cardigan in a size 22 at the weekend (I got the blue one) and I don't look too hideous in it. I still don't believe my jeans are a size 24 though. But at least they're not the size 30 I started with.

And I finally start work on Monday! I've bought a Cath Kidston bag to take my lunch in and have had my fringe trimmed so I no longer resemble Highland cattle. I can't afford a cut and colour yet but I've booked one for the Saturday after I get paid. I might even buy myself some new glasses when I have my eye test tomorrow as I've had my current ones for 7 years and they're scratched to death. I've seen some black ones with sparkly bits as recommended by Gok Wan from How To Look Good Naked and they look quite cool and would give me a break from wearing my lenses every day. So this is my last week of freedom before I become a working woman again. Yippee!