TV Heaven

Well, I'm back in the land of the living after a lovely Christmas in Wales. And I can watch the telly again!! Sebs doesn't have a TV and I've missed watching the old gogglebox more than you could believe. I'm so looking forward to the repeat of the Doctor Who Christmas special on New Year's Day as I'm a total Doctor Who addict and quietly sobbed at 6:50pm on Christmas Day knowing I couldn't watch it. But sitting in front of the telly does make me want to eat and there are several boxes of chocolates next to the coffee table (well, old trunk that serves as a coffee table) looking at me and pleading to be devoured. I did have a couple last night and two amaretti biscuits but I'll be glad when Jim eats them all and the temptation has gone.

So, I hear you cry, how much weight did you stack on over Christmas? A massive... nothing!! I somehow managed to stay the same, despite going about 2000 calories over on Christmas Day with a fry up and a massive dinner of goose, roast potatoes, cauliflower cheese, bacon and sausage rolls, sprouts, broccoli, roasted carrots and parsnips and gravy followed by a slab of Christmas pudding with brandy butter. Oh, and four glasses of champagne, six glasses of white wine and three glasses of dessert wine!! But I was as restrained as I could be on the other day and I didn't have any chocolates until I got home, bizarrely. And I've only had one mince pie all holidays. I think I deserve a medal!!

I'm very confused about my scales, though. Well, it might not be my scales, it might just be my strange body. I weighed myself on Friday morning and the scales told me I'd lost 12lb over Christmas which was, frankly, impossible. So I weighed myself yesterday and they said I'd put on 2.5lb overnight, making it a 9.5lb loss. Then I weighed myself this morning - official weigh-in day - and the 9.5lb had jumped on overnight and I was back to the weight I was last Saturday. Bizarre doesn't even begin to cover it. Now it could be the scales but they weigh Jim fairly accurately so I think I just have very fluctuating weight. So I'm going to restrict my weighing to Sunday mornings only and have told Jim to physically restrain me if I try to sneakily hop on during the week. I think it will keep me sane just having one weigh-in as I get so excited at a big loss then so disappointed when it goes back on again.

I'd like to say I'm firmly back on the straight and narrow diet-wise but we're off to Cardiff tomorrow to spend New Year with our friend Gwilym and he's a bit of a booze monster. We're taking lager and champagne and a fab pink grapefruit drink to mix with Gwilym's gin plus several boxes of nibbles, even though he's cooking a salmon. Oh and smoked salmon to have with bagels and scrambled eggs to sort out our New Year's Day hangovers. So I think I'll be lucky to lose anything this week. Ooh, I almost forgot!! I was very smug all day yesterday. I got some new size 28 jeans for Christmas and when I tried them on before buying them they barely fit me. I had to breathe in so much to do up the button and shove in my belly to get the zip up so I was a bit wary when I decided to try them on yesterday. But they fit!! Easily!! I know most people would be horrified at the thought of wearing size 28 jeans but it really is a wonderful thing for me. I can't imagine how I'll feel when I get in a 16 again. And I will. Only 154.5lb to go!!

Merry Christmas!

I've had a great weigh-in this morning and lost 7.5lb this week so I'm a happy Christmas elf. I have been weighing myself every day this week and had lost 12lb yesterday (which I thought was too much) but have put 4.5lb on overnight, which is probably due to our "works do" yesterday lunchtime. We went to the Kensington Arms which is a nice foodie pub about 10 minutes walk away. I had intended to just have a main course and one drink but got a bit carried away. I ended up having calves liver with bacon and bubble and squeak followed by cinnamon pavlova with brandy soaked fruits and vanilla cream washed down with two halves of hot spiced cider, a large glass of red wine and a hot chocolate with rum! But it was delicious and a good time was had by all.

Today we're off to Abergavenny for Christmas so I'm not in control of my food until 27th. I'm taking a notebook and pen to record everything I eat so I can fill in my food diary when I get home. I suppose I could use their computer to access WLR but it's a bit unsociable squirrelling off to the office after every meal. We'll see. The notebook served me well in Devon and recorded the mammoth amounts of food and drink consumed. Let's hope I'm a little bit more restrained this time. There will be so much food and drink on offer though, including my fabulous home-made damson gin so I'll have to make sure I alternate booze with a glass of water. I never drink enough water when I'm staying at other people's houses nor do I eat any fruit. And I won't be having my usual smoothie for breakfast which has five portions of fruit in it. Never mind, one week won't lead to scurvy. I don't think.

Right, I'd better have some breakfast and get in the shower then gather up all the presents and load up the car. Have a fantastic Christmas one and all. I'll be back next week with tales of dieting woe.

It'll be an ASBO next

I have a new love. I've finally, after years of yearning, bought myself a hoodie. It's something I've always coveted, especially as my sister had a lovely grey hooded cardigan once, but never got round to buying. Until now. It's beige - or "mink" if you believe Evans - and very soft with strange ponchoesque tasselly bits at the bottom (click on the word "hoodie" above for it's full glory) . Not sure I'd wear the hood outside my own four walls (unless it was really cold) but it's fun to put it on and snuggle up on the sofa. Now, what has this got to do with food and dieting, I hear you cry? Well, not a great deal I must admit but internet shopping does keep me occupied during the day and away from the fridge. Unless I'm internet shopping for chocolate, that is.

Despite the vast amount of food-related websites on my favourites list, I've somehow managed to shy away from ordering edible goodies online, apart from the occasional weekly shop using Ocado. But I've seen some wonderful chocolates on the L'Artisan du Chocolat site and am lusting after pretty much everything they make, particularly the chocolate-covered ginger and the liquid salted caramel truffles. I'm almost tempted to get some and try to ration myself to one a day but, however gorgeous they are, I'm loathe to spend 70 calories on one chocolate when I can have a small bunch of grapes for that. Or three satsumas. How times have changed!

I had a bit of a blip, or so I thought, at lunch today. We were at Jim's sister Beckie's house and she'd made carrot and coriander soup. All fine and dandy so far. But, instead of the bread we were going to have, she'd cooked some cheese and onion potato skins with sour cream and chive dip as they wouldn't fit in her freezer due to an excess of Christmas food. And I had five. And the soup. So I got home and entered it into my food diary on WLR and, oh dear, 699 calories. So I entered the tandoori chicken, rice and spinach we're having for dinner and even the violet cream from my advent calendar and - ta da! - I'm 23 calories under for the day! Hurrah and huzzah! Okay, I can't have any fruit after dinner unless I want to go over but it goes to show that things aren't always as awful as they first seem. I was convinced I'd gone well over the calories I'm allowed (1717 at the moment) and was going to say "Sod it" and have a glass of wine or three but now I'm not. I'm just off to polish my halo...

The festive season

Okay, okay, the hissy fit's well and truly over and I'm back in the land of the living (and blogging). Further to last week's gain of 3lb, I weighed myself the day after and was 4.75lb lighter so it was obviously just the rich food and alcohol in my system causing things to be a little skew whiff. And since then, I've lost a further 3lb so am a happy little munchkin as far as my weight goes. Whether that will continue into the Christmas season is another thing entirely as I'm already craving seasonal goodies with a week still to go until the big day.

I've just walked round Waitrose sulking at not being allowed to have any naughty food and kept picking up boxes of mince pies, mini Christmas puddings, duck spring rolls, brie and cranberry parcels and the like, holding them lovingly to my chest then putting them down with a sob. Although I wouldn't say no to a mince pie or three (or a piece of Christmas pudding) doused in brandy butter, it's the party food that really gets me. Little morsels of pure badness that you can eat in the twinkling of an eye. I did actually buy three packs - an oriental selection, the aforementioned duck spring rolls and some cheese bites - for New Year's Eve, which we're spending in Cardiff with our beloved friend Gwilym. And that won't be nearly enough, so I'm planning on buying some more next week, particularly the tempura king prawns and breaded stuffed jalapeno peppers in Sainsbury's. At about 50 calories a piece, I'm going to blow my calorie allowance sky high but one day won't kill me. Okay, two days - if you count all I'll be troughing on Christmas Day too. Maybe three days, with Boxing Day!!

I ought to be resigned about putting on weight over the holidays but, for some silly reason, I still have it in my head that I can maintain my weight, if not actually lose a pound. Which is just daft. We're off to Jim's sister in Swindon on Wednesday to exchange presents as she's working over Christmas and we'll be having quiche and chips for lunch, which isn't exactly low-cal. The Jim and I are off to the Kensington Arms for our "works do" on Friday lunchtime so I'll be having something delicious, washed down with a half or two of their amazing hot spiced cider. Then we go to Abergavenny on Saturday for Christmas itself - five days of not being in control of the food will be difficult in itself but Sebs (Jim's sister - and it's short for Sarah, not Sebastiana as I first thought!) is a great cook and is planning lunches like baked camembert with crusty bread. And that's before I even think of the roast goose and all the trimmings.

And the booze. I can lay off alcohol when I'm at home but as soon as I'm in company a switch is flicked inside my head which makes me drink like the proverbial poisson. There'll be lots of wine (possibly mulled) and gin and champagne and port and, best of all, my home-made damson gin. We sampled it last night (only a teaspoon, to check the sweetness) and, boy oh boy, was it yummy!! I could polish off the whole bottle in one go. Well, I could if it was in a bottle. At the moment, it's in a kilner jar with the damsons still swimming around so I need to go and buy a bottle and a funnel to decant it before the weekend. The perfect drink to warm you up after a winter walk. At least we should be able to go for a walk most days along the canal to burn off some of the festive fare. We've been asked to bring some port so that must mean that there will be cheese. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

But it's only once a year and I'm 7lb ahead of my scheduled loss of 2lb a week so I have a little bit of give. But it would be nice if the damage isn't excessive. And, actually, will I be able to walk much at all because of my bad back? I fell on our very wet and slippy path about 10 days ago and my back is a bad way as I landed on it quite heftily (and I'm a big girl, don't forget!). Despite the Nurofen Plus, Ibuleve and sticky heat patches, it has stubbornly refused to get better and, as Dietgirl would say, I've had a dirty cow of a week. I was supposed to go and stay with my bestest friend Sarah near Winchester at the weekend but my back took against the idea and landed me back in my sick bed. There was no way I could drive 100 miles with it crippling me, let alone enjoy the delights of Winchester Christmas market, which would have been ace. I love a good Christmas market. The one in Manchester provided hours of delight last year, apart from when it was absolutely rammed which, to be truthful, was most of the time.

But it did supply me with gluhwein and hot pork sandwiches, for which I am eternally grateful, though my figure is not. And it really got me into the festive spirit which is slightly lacking this year, mainly due to me not having a job yet. But we have a lovely 8ft tree surrounded by presents and a cat who likes to swipe the baubles, so that perks me up a bit. And it is only a week to go until Father Christmas comes. I'd say Merry Christmas but I think I'll make up for my absence by posting a few more times this week. Ho, ho, ho...

Royally pissed off

Have put on 3lb and am too grumpy to post.

Bah Humbug!

I'm so not full of Christmas cheer this morning. For some unknown reason I've managed to put on 0.75lb this week, which I know isn't a massive gain but still makes me grumpy. I know my body is probably adjusting to such a big loss last week but I wish I could have just stayed the same so I don't feel as though I'm going backwards. It's nice saying "I've lost 33lb" and horrid the next week to have to amend it to "I've lost 32.25lb" and now I doubt I'm going to make my mini goal of losing 40lb by Christmas. Serves me right for setting time goals; I should just be happy to lose the weight as and when it comes off instead of giving myself unreasonable expectations. I'm still ahead of my 2lb a week schedule so I should be happy. But a gain just throws a massive spanner into the works and has me doubting myself again.

I know I can do this. I know it's going to take me a long time but I'm convinced that I can get there. So why does putting on a measly 3/4lb make me worry so much? I'm just terrified that for some reason my body just won't lose the weight and I'll be stuck like this forever, getting inexorably fatter until I'm bed bound and weigh 75 stone. I'm fed up of being like this and just want to be a decent weight again. And I've been doing all the right things this week. I've stayed within my calories, even counting a violet cream chocolate that was inside my spanking new wooden nativity advent calendar (70 calories! For one chocolate!!). I love rose and violet creams and I'll be getting one every other day from now until Christmas. The advent calendar has a nativity scene on top of 24 mini drawers, each big enough for a choccy surprise and I'm sharing the opening with Jim. I get rose and violet creams and he gets a broken up bar of Green and Black's cherry chocolate.

We're getting our Christmas tree today. For the first time we actually have room for a big one so we're going to get a six-foot Nordic spruce (or something) with non-drop needles so you don't end up with sharp bits of tree embedded in your foot every day. Only problem is, when we normally decorate the tree, we have mulled wine and stollen or mince pies to accompany the carols and general festiveness. And they're far too many calories for me so I'm going to have to make do with a lemsip (for my ongoing stinky cold) and a satsuma. Unless I say "Sod it" and have a treat and hope the extra calories kick start my weight loss again. Nah, knowing my luck I'd just put on more weight next week.

I'll probably weigh more next Sunday morning anyway as my parents are coming to visit next weekend and we're going out for dinner on Saturday night so I'll be full of food and wine. They're bringing down all our Christmas presents and taking theirs back with them so I'll have to pull my finger out and buy some. No, I still haven't braved Cribbs Causeway but am going to go tomorrow night. Really. And not go to Nando's for my tea. Oh how I love the Nando's. Half a chicken and chips with garlic sauce and a coke is just my idea of heaven. But it comes in at well over 1000 calories and is just a no-no unless I save some calories in advance. Which there's no chance of me doing between now and tomorrow night unless I don't eat today. Or unless the fancy gym actually calls me back about my free trial day and I can go tomorrow and work my butt off.

But that's not going to happen and I'm going to be stuck in my unemployed hell with just QVC and the fridge for company. They were advertising for a receptionist at the gym and I might get a free membership if I worked there but the pay's probably gash and they're not going to want a fat bird behind reception putting off all the skinny gym bunnies. I guess i could apply and see. Anything's got to be better than Jobseeker's Allowance. It's no wonder I want to turn to food. But I won't. I shall resist heroically and see if the weight comes off again next Sunday. All I can say is it'd better.