And so you're back, from outer space...

Oh dear, it has been a while. I expect I've lost any readers I once had and this little blog is just for my eyes only again. But never mind, serves me right for being useless. No, that's too self-critical. I've been ill and not in the mood for charting my weight loss or, indeed, losing any weight at all. In fact, I've been chalking up the pounds and had gained almost a stone from my last weigh-in. But I've seized my girth with both hands and had a bit of a shake-up. I've left WLR with some regret and guilt and all the lovely people who helped me there because I lost the motivation to do this on my own. Instead, I've joined Weight Watchers for the umpteenth time as I feel I need the group aspect and the weekly weigh-in to keep me on track.

Except it doesn't always work like that, does it? I had a dreadful first week but somehow lost 5lb despite pizza, wine and all sorts of rubbish. Did the loss spur me on for the second week? Hmm, a little. I was a bit better but weighed in to find I'd stayed the same. Which sent me into a spiral of self-doubt and self-loathing and bingeing of epic proportion on both food and booze. I had put on so much weight that I didn't go to the meeting last Thursday and then spent the weekend at a Eurovision party where I drank so much cava, sangria and beer that I passed out on the floor at midnight, unable to get into bed. The monumental hangover on Sunday was somewhat assuaged by a Nando's feast, then some lovely apricot tart and white chocolate-covered strawberries and then two burgers for lunch yesterday and a huge steak with garlic butter, chips and more apricot tart. After which I had indigestion so bad it felt as though I was having a heart attack.

So I've started afresh. With a detox, too. I bought some herbal detox tablets and tincture and I've started a diet that cuts out all the bad things I'm not supposed to eat. Now, I did the blood test three years ago and my intolerances have probably changed but I'm basically intolerant to cow's milk, yeast, egg white, coffee, cola nut, sesame, oats, almonds, nutmeg and black pepper. Phew, that's quite a list!! But I've consumed none of them today and feel quite proud of myself.

I was almost tempted by the demon Domino's but had a shower and made a cup of cleansing nettle, fennel and ginger tea and had two satsumas and the urge to binge has passed. I know it's just because it's the first day of a "diet" and I'm not allowed to have it that makes me want it. No, maybe it's also the fact that I'm a greedy pizza monster! And I'm feeling a little low as Jim is in London for the next two days doing research so I'm on my own in the house on sick leave, feeling guilty about being off work and going to the fridge every five minutes. But I had gluten-free organic muesli for breakfast with goats' milk, lentil soup and grilled chicken salad for lunch, a snack of dairy-free guacamole and organic blue corn tortilla chips, lots of fruit and chicken fajitas for dinner, with sheep's yoghurt instead of sour cream.

Ooh, I've joined a gym, too but haven't been for over a week. I shall try and go tomorrow. If there's anyone out there, wish me luck.